TTT – How to Pay More Tax! Nope, no joke. Yes, read on!

I know what you’re thinking…why, oh why, Mr. Funny Accountant, would I want to pay MORE tax??? The answer is simple. It means you’re making more money!

Throughout my many years of accounting, doing tax and being funny, I’ve been asked a lot of questions:

  • “How do you make such delicious homemade caesar salad dressing?” (see recipe below.)
  • “Why doesn’t the Moon fall out of the sky?” (That one I’ll leave you to look up on your own.)
  • “Wheshhhhhhh Da-dohhhh??” (AKA “Where’s my bottle??”, courtesy of now 1½-year-old Rosie.)

But one topic keeps popping up time and time again – people are afraid to earn more money due to a fear that they will be paying more tax.  While this is in fact true, many people take this line of thinking to the next level by assuming that they will actually end up POORER even though their earnings increased.

Some of you may be surprised that this misconception is so common, but the fact remains I’ve fielded this question in many different forms over the years, most often as the ever-popular “How do I avoid crossing over into a higher tax bracket??” My answer is always the same: “Ummmm…congrats?” The bottom line is this: if you’re earning more money, it’s OK to pay more tax.  All other factors being equal, you will always end up with more money in your pocket if your earnings increase.

So, in summary…higher tax bracket here you come! Welcome that evil, higher tax bracket with open arms…invite it over for dinner and bake it some brownies. If you want it to come back again next tax year, make it some of The Funny Accountant’s Caesar Salad:

½ cup olive or camelina oil
4 med-large cloves of garlic, crushed
3 anchovies, crushed in garlic press (or 2 tsp. anchovy paste)
¼ cup old-style Dijon mustard (half of this if using classic Dijon)
2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
¼ cup grated parmesan
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp. lemon juice
1 egg, coddled (1 min. in boiling water, then directly into ice water bath)
Salt & pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients except for the egg in a blender or magic bullet. Blend for 30 secs or until uniformly mixed.  Drop in egg (sans shell) and blend for another 15-20 secs.  If consistency is too oily, add a touch more Dijon mustard as needed.  Serve with chopped romaine, croutons and more parmesan!  Makes enough dressing more 8 large appetizer servings of salad. Prep time – 10 minutes max!!

Happy first week of summer everyone! Stay tuned for more summer-themed tax tips in the weeks to come.

Spare rib anyone? –Adam


The Funny Accountant.

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